Tuesday 15 January 2013

Struggling

I guess all I have to do to get myself to go back to blogging on a regular basis is to say I'm not going to do it for a while.
I'm in the process of trying to write a book.  I am n page 42.  The problem is that I have been on page 42 for the last two weeks.  I'm going through yet another bout of writers block.  I'm struggling with self-doubt.  I feel like I'm no good and I've lost momentum.  I feel disconnected from the story and I'm struggling with finding a way back to it.  I've thought about reading what I've wrote so far, but I know it's awful (a first draft isn't supposed to be great) and I fear it will only make it worse.  I start the day thinking I'll write and then do all I can to avoid doing it.
Part of the problem is that my writing course is over and now I feel lost.  I feel like without the course, I will have no way to learn the craft.  I have no idea what I'm doing.  The thing is, you either have it or you don't and I'm afraid I don't.  I have book upon book about writing that cover topics like, writing from life, writing great fiction, scene and setting, elements of style, editing your own work and a half dozen of writing magazines. I am so desperate to learn how to do it right (as if talent can be taught) and I feel ill-equipped to be taking on the task of writing a book.
My teacher says to just keep writing.  She says to get the story down and worry about how well written it is later.  I know I should be taking her advise, but it's easier said than done.